Two years ago, my husband and I were up on the roof of our home, with our cat, hemmed in by fast flowing muddy water. The rainfall from Cyclone Gabrielle made our local river burst its banks and suddenly we were surrounded and had to be rescued on the front forks of a tractor.
It was a surreal experience. A maelstrom of emotions.
Powerlessness. Fear. Awe.
The lengthy recovery process wasn’t much fun – but thankfully we (and our animals) survived and made it through (with a LOT of help). This week I’m reflecting on what I’ve learnt and want to share 3 insights that might help you in turn.
- Adversity gives people a chance to shine
Gosh people are amazing aren’t they!? Going through difficulties really allows people to show you their true colours.
It’s hard to describe how heart-warming it is to have friends, (and even complete strangers), share such love and support. People fed us, helped out with our kids and generally mucked in with the heart-breaking, back-breaking job of the clean up.
As I shared at the time in this article (along with all the photos). “Words can’t express the gratitude I feel. I keep signing off all my texts and conversations with “I love you” because it’s the truth and I realise that we just don’t say it often enough.”
It’s a nice reminder to get back to sharing true appreciation more often.
- Asking for help is tough
Last year at a conference I was chatting with a fellow speaker about some pretty deep stuff. He said something that’s stuck with me ever since, “Lauren, you don’t find it easy to ask for help do you?”
Wow.
It made me realise he was exactly right. I don’t find it easy. I think it’s quite a common human challenge – would you agree?
So often we try to go it alone. We need to learn to ask for help sooner and more often.
- You’ve got to do the inner work
After the flood, I started noticing I felt anxious anytime I saw puddles or pooled water.
This was not normal. I love water. If there’s a pool, beach or lake available – I want to dive into it. Seeing puddles, brought back this awful feeling of watching the water rising on the day and being powerless to stop it.
I realised I needed to face up to and work through those feelings, so I sought out the help of a wonderful counsellor. There were a lot of tears, some fantastic exercises that helped with releasing fears I hadn’t even realised I’d repressed.
She also referred me onto another wonderful specialist who did EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing). I found it really beneficial. I’m not saying that it’s the one and only option or trying to prescribe it for anyone. But for me – it was really helpful to uncover some of the worries I’d attached to seeing that water rushing into our property. It helped me reframe how I felt looking back on it.
A few months ago, I had this fantastic moment of realisation. It struck me that I felt fine seeing puddles. Such a relief!
Long story short – you’ve got to take the time to do the inner work.
Even as a skilled coach, you can’t coach yourself so once again – asking for help is key. I’m not ashamed to share that I needed help (although it is still uncomfortable to admit publicly). I hope that by sharing my story, I might inspire someone else.
Be sure to ask for the help, early and often.
How about you?
I invite you to take a moment to reflect on a challenge you’ve faced or are facing right now. What have you learnt/are you learning from it?
Take some time to reflect. If you want to share a comment below.
I’m curious to hear your insights.
Wishing you all the best with standing strong regardless of what lies ahead.
To hear my top three tips to help you not just survive but thrive and withstand whatever the storms of life throw your way – check out my 18 min talk from last years International Toastmasters Convention.
With love,
Lauren
About Lauren Parsons, CSP, AS
Lauren Parsons is a sought-after international speaker, author, and expert in resilience, wellbeing, and leadership. She’s passionate about equipping busy professionals with powerful strategies to enhance energy, vitality and performance.
Named NZ Keynote Speaker of the Year and Educator of the Year for 2023/24 by the Professional Speakers Association, Lauren is one of only a handful of Certified Speaking Professionals and the only Toastmasters International Accredited Speaker in New Zealand. With over 20 years of experience, she’s a TEDx speaker, author of Thriving Leaders Thriving Teams, and host of the Thrive TV Show.
Lauren blends her expertise in wellness, business, and leadership to be the only speaker worldwide focusing on the intersection of boosting both wellbeing and productivity. Described as dynamic, life-changing, and unforgettable, Lauren’s presentations leave audiences inspired, uplifted, and ready to take immediate action.
Based in the Manawatu, New Zealand, Lauren lives with her husband, three children and a menagerie of animals. She travels regularly to speak at conferences and in-house, helping leaders create positive, energised workplaces, where people thrive.
See all the goodness at Lauren’s “Free Stuff” page – www.LaurenParsonsWellbeing.com
Ways to connect with Lauren
- Find out about conference keynotes
- See her most popular topics
- Make a time for a virtual cuppa over zoom
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2 Comments on “3 Things I’ve Learnt, 2 years on from Cyclone Gabrielle”
All credit to you Lauren and your family for going through all of this and coming out the other end. I can only imagine that seeing your home destroyed like that must be one of the worst things to endure. Your comments about being OK about asking for help really resonated. I can still remember that photo you posted with your cat on the back of that truck – a very human story – an emblem of what ‘family’ means to us.
Thanks so much Debbie for your kind words. It’s pretty tough when you’re going through a crisis and all you want to do is go home to your ‘safe place’ – and it’s not there anymore! Such a challenging time for so many people. I’m certainly glad it’s behind us.