Let’s be honest – leadership can be lonely.
The weight of decisions. The pressure to perform. The balancing act of keeping people motivated, focused, and performing at their best.
And yet, you’ve probably had a leader in your life who made all the difference. Someone who saw you. Who helped you grow. Who made work a place you wanted to be.
What if you could be that leader for someone else?
Here’s how you can be the leader everyone wants to work with – based on everything I’ve learnt over the last two decades working with leaders and focusing on building a thriving team culture.
- Start with Self-Leadership
- Build Trust and Psychological Safety
- Lead With Vision, Not Just Metrics
- Coach, Don’t Command
- Empower Through Appreciation
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1. Start with Self-Leadership
You can’t pour from an empty cup. How you think, move, eat, and breathe profoundly impacts how you lead.
The foundation of powerful leadership is personal wellbeing. When you’re energised, clear-headed and resilient, you can lift others too.
That’s why I teach leaders to embody the Live Well Principles – to Uplift your thoughts, Nourish your body, Invigorate your life with movement, Strengthen your mind and relationships, and Restore to keep everything in balance.
I once worked with a senior leader – let’s call her Sarah – who was concerned her team weren’t dealing well with stress at work. She wanted them to have better energy and better balance.
What I quickly discovered, was that Sarah wasn’t demonstrating much balance herself. She was constantly running on empty. She stayed late, constantly tried to multi-task which left her overwhelmed, she skipped meals, and rarely moved from her desk during the day.
Her energy was low, she found it hard to feel optimistic, she felt flat and frazzled on a regular basis and her team started mirroring that fatigue.
When she finally implemented just two things – walking meetings and a proper lunch break – everything changed. Her team said she seemed more present, and that they felt “permission” to take care of themselves too.
We often underestimate the power of modelling. Your team don’t want to just do what you say – they want to see a great example to follow.
It’s the unwritten rules – the way you show up – that really matters.
All leadership begins with self-leadership. The way you show up creates a ripple that flows on to everyone around you.
2. Build Trust and Psychological Safety
Want to know the one thing top-performing teams have in common? Psychological safety. What builds it? When leaders cultivate a high-trust environment.
Great leaders build trust – both of themselves and amongst their team members.
Psychological safety is so important. When people feel challenged but not threatened, they can be at their best. It’s a leader’s job to foster a culture where people feel safe.
Psychological safety isn’t about being soft. It’s about being real. When people feel safe at work, they innovate more, engage more, and stay longer. They bring fresh ideas, try new things and own their mistakes (rather than covering them up which helps no one).
Simple ways to build psychological safety:
- Listen without interrupting.
- Great leaders are fantastic listeners.
- Be the leader who people feel they can come to with anything.
- Admit your mistakes.
- Own them, speak up and apologise when necessary.
- Set the example for others as well and focus on a “What can we learn from this?” attitude.
- Start meetings with check-ins.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how’s your energy today?”
- Or a constantly changing question such as; What did you love doing as a kid? What’s something you’re grateful for? Where’s one of the most beautiful place you’ve visited? These questions build connection and trust.
3. Lead With Vision, Not Just Metrics
Numbers matter, but purpose matters more.
People want to know why their work matters. The most inspiring leaders don’t just chase targets; they paint a compelling picture of the future.
This is why a clear vision is vital
One CEO I worked with was frustrated by her team’s “lack of drive.” But when we asked the team what the company’s vision was, most had no idea.
Together, we worked on strategies to bring the company vision to life. We embedded it everywhere – from onboarding to team huddles to performance management. It was positively reinforced, so it was always front of mind. Within weeks, there was a real shift in energy.
People don’t work harder because they’re told to. They work harder when they believe in what they’re doing and where they’re going.
Ask yourself: Do my people know why we do what we do? Have I told them lately?
Paint the picture. Share the “why”.
4. Coach, Don’t Command
Gone are the days of command-and-control leadership. Today, people crave feedback that helps them grow – not criticism that cuts them down.
Picture your feedback like fertiliser. Done right, it speeds growth. Done wrong, it can burn the roots.
Balance praise (water) with constructive feedback (fertiliser). Be timely, be specific, and always link feedback to values and potential. This nurtures confidence and clarity – two essentials for high performance.
Years ago, I coached a leader named Matt. He confessed he struggled with feedback – “I either avoid it or dump it all at once,” he told me.
We reframed feedback as fertiliser. Timely feedback, tailored for the individual, to help them grow and be at their best.
He started focusing on praising his team for the things they were doing well. Each time her did this it made a deposit in their relational bank. This built up a lot of credit with his team members, which meant he felt more comfortable to address issues without ruining their working relationship.
When he noticed things that needed improvement, he became committed to raise it with the person as soon as possible in a one-on-one conversation. He focused on the ‘why’ and explained how lifting their game would flow on to create a positive outcome.
Matt was amazed at how positively people responded. Feedback no longer felt like conflict – it became connection.
5. Empower through Appreciation
People thrive when they feel seen and valued. Appreciation is the sunshine that helps them shine.
Simple gestures like a thank you note, a shout-out in a meeting, or asking “How can I support you?” go a long way.
Think back to the last time someone thanked you sincerely. Remember how it felt?
Now imagine your team going months without that feeling.
The key to great appreciation is knowing how your team members like to receive praise. For some, it’s public praise. For others, it’s a quiet note or a spontaneous coffee. Some people appreciate quality time or acts of service. Others value words of affirmation or gifts. Use tools like my “Getting to Know You” questionnaire to tailor your appreciation. When leaders personalise recognition, it really hits home.
Leaders often tell me, “I’m too busy to praise everyone all the time.” But it’s not about more time – it’s about more intention.
Don’t underestimate the positive ripple effect of appreciation.
Final Thought
Here’s the truth: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great leader. You just have to be present.
Show up. Care. Listen. Encourage. Lead with heart.
Because the leader everyone wants to work with isn’t the loudest, smartest, or most experienced. They’re the one who sees people. Who creates a space where others can thrive.
So here’s your invitation:
What’s one habit you could shift this week to be that kind of leader?
Start small. Be consistent. And remember—you are amazing, and you are capable of more than you imagine.
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