Stamping out Wellbeing Shaming

An excerpt from Lauren Parsons’ book ‘Thriving Leaders Thriving Teams’.


Have you heard of Wellbeing Shaming? 

In my latest book Thriving Leaders Thriving Teams, I wrote about how it can creep into cultures and undermine staff wellbeing.

Wellbeing Shaming = where staff, either directly, or passive-aggressively, belittle their colleagues for looking after their mental health and wellbeing.

It can show up as snide comments about you taking your full lunch break, utilising your workplace’s flexible hours policy, taking leave, or declining to sync your work emails on your personal phone. 

Ironically, the people who engage in wellbeing shaming often secretly wish they had those same boundaries. They could certainly be more efficient and effective if they switched off from work to recharge!

Comments like, “Oh, I see. You’re off for your run while we hold the fort for you” infer that slogging away non-stop for long hours is the expected, and better, option. 

I believe leaders have a big role to play here to help shift this culture. The stats are very clear that healthy, happy people achieve more and stick with you for longer, so it makes sense to stamp out these negative comments which impact on your team culture.

I believe everyone is a leader. So, regardless of whether you have a leadership title or not, you can help influence your team culture.

What can you do about Wellbeing Shaming?

  1. Call it out – If you can raise people’s awareness of what they’re doing (ideally in a respectful, firm yet positive communication) you’re taking the first step to be able to confront this behaviour when it arises.
  2. Set clear expectations – Communicate your boundaries and how and when people can connect with you and should expect to hear back. As a team, be clear on ‘what right looks like’ in terms of realistic response timeframes, people taking breaks, not being a slave to email etc. 
  3. Turn the tide – Emphasise the huge benefits of prioritising wellbeing, not just for you but for everyone around you. Make it explicitly clear how important downtime is so that becomes a team norm and people can fully recharge.
  4. Inspire others – Invite others to join you for your lunchtime walk or start your meeting with a connection activity to boost belonging. Let people experience the benefits. Allow their renewed energy, increased focus and higher productivity to convince them. 

The results will speak louder than words!

Wishing you all the best as you show leadership by calling wellbeing shaming behaviour for what it is, pointing out that people who look after their wellbeing are making a positive contribution to the entire team’s success.

Want some extra help to be able to address wellbeing shaming so you can help your team be at it’s best?

It’s just one of the many things we address in my leadership development programmes such as Leading So People Thrive, One-On-One Executive Coaching or Leadership Retreats.

Reach out today if I can help!


About the Author – Lauren Parsons, CSP, AS

Lauren is a keynote speaker, author and consultant who’s passionate about helping busy people discover little-used techniques to boost their energy, vitality and performance. She’s the only speaker in the world to focus on lifting BOTH workplace wellbeing and productivity.

Awarded NZ Keynote Speaker of the Year and Educator of the Year 2023/24 by the Professional Speakers Association. Lauren is a sought-after international speaker, one of only a dozen Certified Speaking Professionals and the only Accredited Speaker in New Zealand.

TEDx speaker, Author of Thriving Leaders Thriving Teams and Real Food Less Fuss, Founder of the Snack on Exercise movement and host of the Thrive TV Show. With over 20 years’ experience, Lauren integrates her wellness and business background to help leaders find the sweet spot between boosting both wellbeing and productivity.

Check out all the resources at Lauren’s “Free Stuff” page at www.LaurenParsonsWellbeing.com

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